Don't Just Pre-order the GI Joe Game, Live it -- With a Joe Slurpee

When it comes to gaming, 7-Eleven are as serious as Gung-Ho's Gumbo. Last year the Sev began selling video games like WoW: Lich King and Guitar Hero World Tour, and had midnight launch parties for Fallout 3 and the James Bond Quantum of Solace game.

Now they've upped the ante with GI Joe-branded beverages. Don't just hang out at the Gas 'n' Sip on a Saturday night, talking about women. Rain down a few salvos of THE premier pheromonic alpha male beverage: The True-Blue Liquid Artillery Slurpee, and you'll become charming, interesting, and above all, virile. It's the human equivalent of fanning peacock feathers. For a more casual convenience store encounter, show you're the strong, silent, even mute type with a combination Snake Eyes lenticular cup and straw with drawn Katana.

Before you go flirting with Blood Elves, grab a 'GO JOE' Cappuccino, complete with every legal stimulant known to man inside: taurine, guarana, and of course, caffeine. With real bull testosterone coursing through your veins, a 36-hour WoW raid will be child's play.

Time to do a taste and efficacy test, methinks.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra comes to theaters August 7th, and you can pre-order the G.I. Joe game at any major retailer for an August 4th ship date.